Musings on Death

This week has been a difficult, emotional week. As I posted a few days ago, my brother-in-law went home to be with the Lord. It wasn't entirely unexpected, because he fought a courageous battle with cancer, but on the other hand - are we ever ready when it happens? No, we aren't - ever the hope that is instilled us by our Creator - that a miracle might happen at the last moment.

And yet, a miracle did happen on Tuesday. Bobby in his last moment here on earth suffered from cancer; the next, opened his eyes, saw the face of Jesus in a new perfect body! Indeed a miracle that we can be in such a glorious place as heaven when our earthly body fails us, given to us by the death and resurrection of our Lord.

Having said all that, we still grieve. Oh, we don't grieve as the world does - with no hope - but we feel the loss nonetheless. It's really hitting me hard - which, I guess is surprising to me. So many different emotions and trying to sort so many things out. So difficult.

I wish we could go to the memorial service in Virginia. But, that is not going to happen. There will be another memorial service in Pennsylvania, though in a month - and I am very tentatively making plans to go to that one. I'm not sure if my husband will be able to go or not. We have our own business now; and it's not an easy decision to make, especially in this economy, to just be away from the store so to speak for a few days. That right there, brings guilt. On the other hand, it is what it is, and unfortunately, we don't have that luxury right now to take that kind of risk. We feel that Bobby would be the first one to understand.

But there's so much more that I have to process. I really don't feel like I can discuss it in this venue; but maybe sometime in the future I can. I need to spend alot of time with the Lord; for He is the only one that can straighten out this whole mess in my mind. I am scared to try to unscramble all this; but I'm even more afraid not to.

1 Peter 5:7 says it all: 6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, 7 casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Thank You Lord, that we have You to cast all our concerns, our anxieties upon anytime, but especially in our times of distress. I pray for Your clear direction, guidance and wisdom for these situations. Thank You for all that You have done for us, in Your name, Amen.