Starting to Unscramble

One thing that has stuck with me all week after my brother-in-law died is this statement: "My brother Bob spent his whole life wondering if he was good enough. Now he's passed into the arms of Jesus, and discovered that he was beloved", written by my sister-in-law.

I can definitely relate to this. I think I've spend many years wondering the same thing. Am I good enough? I look back over relationships, circumstances, my whole life, really; and, my answer would have to be no. Many people have decided that in some way, shape or form that I wasn't good enough - not good enough to be on their team (the classic choosing teams in elementary and high school gym class); not good enough to be their friend (high school cliques); and the list goes on and on - all the way up to the present time.

It's fairly easy for me to transfer these feelings of inadequacy and not being good enough from my physical relationships to my relationship with my Father God. Even though I know better. I know God loves us (me) unconditionally. I know He loved me while I was yet a sinner. So why is it so hard for me to acknowledge the fact that I am good enough?

Now I know that I am not good enough by anything that I have done; but rather what Jesus has done on the cross.

Wow, just writing all this makes my head spin. I think that's all the unscrambling I can do for tonight.